“I have not spoken to anyone about my ordeal but I sincerely hope your advice will go a long way towards healing me and restoring back my sanity.
I started dating this lady whom I still love so much February 2013, few months before I lost my mummy. I was so cautious of the affair at first, knowing that it was the first time I am getting so emotionally entangled to a lady, but after I lost my mum, I was so hurt and the fact that she was the only person very close to me then, I threw caution to the wind and fell helplessly in love with her, hoping that it would help alleviate the pains of losing My mum and praying deep inside my heart that the relationship will lead to marriage. It did to a reasonable extent alleviated the pains of losing my mum.
Even while I was in school, I gave her everything that I somehow lived in deprivation. Her friends were complaining to me that I spend a lot on her and it might backfire one day. I ignored their advice. I buy her handouts, clothes, Mobile gadgets and even give her certain amount of money on monthly basis to add up to her feeding money, I made sure she lived above her peers in school .
The whole problem started late 2014, when I was about leaving for my NYSC. she started acting quite strange, I respected her privacy that I don’t even touch her phones, even though I give her the freedom to handle my phones and answer my calls. I noticed she wouldn’t pick up her calls while with me. Like I said, I respected her privacy that I never gave so much thoughts into her actions, I loved and gave her my all believing that she will never cheat on me. Then on her birthday, I had got lots of surprising gifts for her and even arranged a little get together without her knowledge. To my greatest surprise, she surfaced at the venue of the party with the excuse that she was going on an errand for her parents. I handed over to her the gifts I got for her, she collected them and left the venue. Little did I know she had gone to see her erstwhile lover. Depression had started creeping in and I was losing my sanity apparently.
To cut the whole story short, when her girlfriend opened up to me that my girl was having affairs elsewhere, I never believed her at first, but after I confronted her, then I was looking so sick and pale, completely lost in thoughts and pains. She eventually opened up and was really sorry to the best of my knowledge . I couldn’t help the pains, I. Started taking anti depressants, I have already vowed never to cheat in my life, knowing that prosperity has a way of rewarding Fidelity.
After I was mobilized for NYSC, I left for my Camp, but the ghost of a failed relationship was already hunting me, I had lost interest in living. Shortly after I returned back from my Orientation camp, everyone knew something was wrong with me, I only told them that it was the stress from Camp. Well, I was battered emotionally, that on 31st December 2014, I hit the rock button and decided to end my life and end the pains, I took insecticides and collection of anti depressants in over dose and battery acid, I cheated on death as I was in Coma for 4 days, I was referred to a psychologist for rehabilitation after I was discharged on the 12th of January 2015. I spent 6 months in rehabilitation Center here in Lagos State, where I was also serving then.
After the whole incident, I made up my mind to forgive her and give her a second chance since she was really sorry. The whole scenario started replaying itself, that she started acting strange again, already my friend had told me that she was seeing someone else. My family knew I was slipping into depression again and had wanted to fly me out of the country, but I was denied Visa when I least expected it. I had to leave Enugu for Lagos so as to keep away from her and the environment. but she still calls me on phone, saying that she still loves me, I truly love her so much. Am totally lost of words, lost of ideas. Am terrified to say the least. Am losing my sanity again. Please friends, depression is getting better of me at the moment.. I need a sincere advise”